GIVE is an acronym and the first letter “G” means to be Gentle.
A conversation with another person is going to be much more effective for you if you are gentle. People respond much more to gentleness than to harsh words or attacks.
People don’t like it if you threaten them or if you approach them with anger, so they shut down immediately or they respond with the same anger or with a host of their own emotions as they slip into emotion mind.
Stay away from thinking or saying “should.” Being gentle means setting aside these expectations.
Being gentle means no name-calling, either, and no resurrecting the past in order to make someone feel badly.
Cope ahead: Understand that sometimes you will hear the word no. Sometimes you will be gentle and it won’t matter. Do your best to have the conversation as gently as you can. Make a plan for how you will end the conversation if the other person is not receptive to the discussion you want to have.